I will fight for you Because you are my friend If anyone tries to hurt you I’ll be there to defend
It sickens me to see how sad you are Come into my world, be brave, don’t fret. They defame you while we watch from afar But I’ll stand up for you, never forget.
Why did I bother?
I will not fight you I value you more than that
Why do you fight me I thought you were a friend After all my trust and loyalty Is this how it’s going to end?
It sickens me to hear how happy you are You show no signs of guilt or regret and defame me while I watch from afar So am I a friend, or did you forget?
Or maybe you never cared anyway
get out of my life get out of my life get out of my life get out of my head I want you dead.
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
I step out the door into the frost Walk once more to the fountain of loss. Memories haunt every corner on the way Hiding in these trees that the wind would sway
Against the grey clouds and white sky I can’t help but let my imagination sigh. I’m walking through an Autumn tunnel And standing in a wet winter puddle
To the left is my third school Desolation brings a breeze cold; not cool. The grounds; abandoned. The gates; locked. But my memories would have this scene mocked
I see children, wearing the blue of the day Laughing and running their childhood away A rather stark contrast to this black I wear now I still smile to see a uniform as I glance down
I’m at a cross in the road covered by leaves On the right is a place for someone who believes To my left leads another tunnel of trees But the evergreen conceals darker memories;
An image of friendship confronts my eyes Friendship caught in a walking web of lies It disappears into the darkness and distance Leaving behind loyalty, trust and innocence.
I bend to pick up these pieces of past Why is it that these virtues never last? Why did friendship have to walk behind Lust embracing a love of my mind?
I drop the naive back on the pavement Ignorance shatters and secures my only repayment I’m walking on without looking behind For if I did… I wonder what I would find.
I lived in that house. I know this road. Still the same lawn; ever un-mowed. There’s the park where I used to fly On swings so high you could touch the sky.
I look to the other side of the street To see three who “by coincidence” did meet Smiles, laughter and completely alive I blink and let the image die
Onwards, to the fountain, I’m almost there This is the big one for which I prepared. A circle of significance, clock of no time This hunk of metal hides meaning behind grime
The image is so strong this time around That my whole body lifts itself off the ground And I find myself walking through twilight rain To the overflowing fountain from a train.
The path is deserted; Everyone has found cover Alone I am walking, but wait, there’s another A beautiful girl radiating red sunshine Confronted with her, the weather seems fine
She smiles, walking towards me with arms extended I walk towards her feeling as if time had just ended We fall into each other and on the spot embrace While the freezing rain falls; soaking her smiling face
But we don’t mind. Just stand still, holding on Once over this moment will be forever gone I close my eyes and enter a void of bliss The world’s best kiss doesn’t compare with this
I can feel a cold wind licking my cheek The amazing feeling begins to grow weak. I wake up to find the sky still grey Still that same dreary winters-mid-day
Memories can bend a chain but not break one To break a chain requires something more of a gun. With that in mind I turn, walk and climb Find the glass bridge and recall a crime.
Lust’s lying spider smiles as he holds close a close friend I wish to ignore what I saw, but can’t even pretend. She stood still while with most gentle caress The damned deadly Demon her beautiful body did undress.
I’m watching my memory be murdered once more The past includes images that strike at my core. Trust turned to lust while loyalty and love were just lies; Nothing of this nostalgia retains purity to my eyes.
Time to learn, turn and leave this place Walk back, wipe the rain from my face Back through Hornsby, Normanhurst and Wahroonga; Through the lies and lost love. What cold nostalgia.
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
We were standing there one winters day Me and Ba and Shank and Ray “The seats are wet”, “I know hey” Oh look there’s Scott, “His hair is so gay”
There was a time where I would have defended Raised up my arms and cried most offended Scott is a friend “Hey stop it you guys” “Give it up with the slander and lies”
But no not today oh no no no way Scott is the reason the sky is so grey. I look left to déjà vu this dreary day; For fate I have a debt to repay.
Ironic, how he’s no longer my friend There’s no doubt how this is going to end. Should I try to correct the fault? Let my hard feelings out of that vault?
Yet I can no longer trust Scott, so I refuse. Andrew Semler has been naught but bad news. He has hit my moral event horizon on the side which sends our friendship long gone
He’s made the mistake you don’t make twice The kind of promise I won’t take thrice He’s entered the game and stolen the dice My poker face now is a cold mask of ice.
He knows I’ve played this game before And I’ll not lose again; this time it’s war! I have confidence either way for once Security in my success against this dunce
I’m married. I simply can’t lose My loving wife will join me on the cruise So I’m not competing for a partner Not searching for a happily ever after.
All I want is to ruin Scott’s dreams And do it all with my smile like a beam. Yes I’m a bastard, a horrible fiend I will no longer tolerate Scott on the scene
I write it all with a touch of guilt But that’s good, it’s how I’m built There will be no regret by the time I am done Only plenty of guilt with which to have fun
Already the emails have found themselves sent The third vertex already finds herself bent It seems like an early success But I am not so easy to impress
My power on the internet has only grown stronger My stalking resumé grows longer and longer I can see all that has exchanged between My favourite nerd and my Redheaded Queen
At the slightest hint of love and wonder I will ruthlessly tear their hearts asunder And it’s none of this from Jealousy, yet. It’s the nerve of this shadow in every respect
I’ve fought against him for a whole year It’s time for the right words to enter his ear. This happens to be the most fitting way To get across what I’ve wanted to say:
You are not you; you are stubbornly me And I’m sorry to destroy your heart, honestly But if it takes such murder to make you see Then I have no regrets; Let it be.
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
It was quite an absurd occurrence which gave rise to reason for seven words of swift deterrence Which I’ll now relate through more
The first word can be used to shout and identify who is who The word we would be lost without It allows me to talk to you
The second word was my weapon of choice Inverse osmosis, so give a bored blink But it’s meaning should be given voice What worth is the the chance to think
The third word was the same as the first And this time with less glee The subject couldn’t be any worse If I know you’re talking about me.
The fourth word was almost a pet hate To me it’s all a show So throw me maths and throw me fate I’ll believe, but never know
The fifth word was a name actually The glowing opposite of death Someone who I love to see She is addressed as Beth
The sixth word was the same as the third But following the other five Apprehension flies high with the birds Pointing my heart toward knives
The seventh word was a final blow Of what I want and won’t See it only went to show What you can do but don’t
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
I have before me a card. It is Jumbo sized Art. It has a story, this card. It is the Ace of Hearts. I found it, or stole it, one black day With the sky from the clouds raining grey. “Missions” he called it, laughing with glee and flickering eyes that betrayed his honesty. I had naught to juggle, and nothing to squeeze but then someone out there warmed to my pleas; Two jumbo sized packs, one of red, one of blue. I silently start shuffling, and watch as I do. He bounces up and down all around the room, Cramped as it is, there’s not the slightest boom The cards I am shuffling are now being sorted. The blue pack is missing the cards most important. This fiend before me protects his best Breaking the rules? nothing to contest The four aces he keeps close to his heart, But I know where they are, at least in part. I look up from my royal flush, My poker face doesn’t betray as much and see this monster calling for help But with a mad grin, not a loud yelp. “Missions” he calls it, laughing viciously The angel in the room jumps up immediately. Well there you go, that seals my fate Again into darkness to head a clean plate I stand up and prepare to brave the rain and I laugh at the other’s looks of pain. As the cards go smack down upon the table, The demon rushes out the door with my angel I’m ready to run, pursue, protect and die But something has stopped me, caught my eye His four aces are there and so heavily exposed lust for an angel; As a hole in defence, it shows. There is only one card that I care to take One of four aspects that I intend to break The club is his skills, his practice and trade The genius to which that combines is his Spade The diamond is his luck and face but in part, it is his amazing ability to abuse the heart. I grabbed the card, the organ throbbing in fright I Stuffed it in my pocket and clenched it tight. Run out the door into the rain, past the overflowing storm drain. The water coming down as a wall I run and slip and avoid a fall There’s always the light of the angel before Beautiful hair showing me through the downpour All the while I clenched the card, I never let go Despite it’s burning black blood ruining the show But I got through to the end of the night When I got home I knew I had won the fight The demon failed again, as the angel survived His heart is disfigured and no longer alive It’ll grow back, such an ungodly sight To him the loss of a heart is slight. But it will never be the same one, and that’s fine Because this is no longer his heart, it’s mine. This is a symbol for the angel; I have her not him But I vow I will not abuse her under light dim. I’ll not rip it in half, I’ll never set it on fire But I’ll never ever use it like that horrible liar. And now I sit here, with Heart’s Ace before me The crease through the middle should tell you its’ story.
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
“You must specialise in broken hearts” That’s a line I’ve always had in mind Knowing where to put it is a fine art Skill and mastery to which I was blind
Ever since the last word was said These words have lingered behind For I failed to hold a redhead Those words were not mine to find
No one spoke them, they were not written These words are the product of silence; Delicious, but not my words to be eaten Beautiful, and yet for me far too tense
So whom is the elusive subject of my quote? At first I thought it was my Ranga rejector The one who left two broken boys on a boat The memory that will never shut it’s door
But no matter how hard I tried Sixty stanzas couldn’t fit it in To force any phrase I would have died Because I knew it wasn’t her within
After a few months of regression I decided to learn from a mistake Very soon it came to my attention That I had a uni course to take
Who should happen to be attending? Another redhead, another chance A few long weeks of pretending Previous mistake made my luck enhance
But all of a sudden again it’s occurred I don’t want to lose another friend Another audition for my great words Let’s see this through to the end
Irony, I managed to win this time But not before falling apart anyway It was almost like the perfect crime That quote I almost had cause to say
Once again, the words don’t work Why on earth can’t I fit them in? It makes me cringe and smirk All those guys hearts are her epic win
If anyone were to receive the phrase It would absolutely have to be her But no, even after hours and days How to use the words is a blur.
I have tried and tried and tried And many have stepped up to fill the spot My efforts are nothing, I’ve only cried It’s only recently that the answer was caught
Someone lusts and rages and wants I stopped him quite immediately Another heart broken behind the taunts And so it hit me almost evilly
There could only be one who fills the mould Could shred that organ into a million parts With a grin and glinting eye, I’ve been told “You must specialise in broken hearts”
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
We were Sitting down at lunch one day, Me and Ba, and Scott and Ray, Being Happy and merry (But never gay) Until Shank decided to come our way.
The conversation quickly turns, To that which makes the stomach churn; Hot chicks, porno, renticle tape To make shank stop it, we give him a shake.
“Profanities Shank” loudly proclaims Ba, “Give it a rest” I say, “You’ve gone too far” “bIsAmused equals false” guffaws semlar, And Ray just pretends to play a guitar.
Ba scratches his head and thinks of a topic, one that is safe and will make shank stop it. Up until then, everything was normal… “So who are you guys taking to the formal?”
This quickly got everyone’s attention, I stayed quiet, as if on detention. I was interested but it did not show, Everyone became edgy, ready to blow.
Semlar coughed “Sarah”, we whacked him hard, “She’s in France, are you a retard?” Ba says that he wants to ask Alanna This gets met with “Ba’s gonna be a father!”
Ba hides his face and talks to shank What did they say? I drew a blank. I became apprehensive as of then “Who did you say you are asking again?”
His one word answer, as it sunk into my mind Sent my heart crazy and put shivers down my spine The one name that I did not want to hear “Nicole” said shank, confirming my worst fear.
She was the only girl that I wanted to take And now she’s about to be stolen by Shank. The gears in my head started to revolve A plan was formed and I was resolved.
Shank will NOT be stealing my redhead; He will be taking someone else instead. This occupied me for the rest of the day Shank had become my enemy in a way.
As I looked at my options I exclaimed “damn” I didn’t know whether it would go to plan But I was possesed and my fingers would shake In such a frenzy I made a fatal mistake
One email that I don’t want to recall I was putting too much faith in it all. With butterflies in stomach, excitement, nervous, I pushed “send” and the words did their service
I had no idea that I was already dead, So I felt better then ever as I climbed into bed. I had to make certain that shank didn’t ask, His real words are superior to an email from my arse.
The next day was friday, both a blessing and a curse. After school was youth group at Ba’s Christian church. This meant I could ask her for real Shank could too; so it was not ideal
I had a sense of “Carpe Diem”, Sieze the day! On top of the world? I was feeling this way. But behind it all there was a sense of betrayal: No matter what, one of us is going to fail.
For the first time I could see what paths lay before me Extreme jealousy or sweet victory, which was it to be? I was determined to see this through “Damn you Shank, this is all because of you!”
And so there we we’re on friday night Soccer in the park; it was a vicious fight. Does shank suspect why I am here? If he does then I must fear:
If Shank Knows my thoughts then he’ll be using all speed He will pounce on Nicole like one full of greed. But if he doesn’t know my plan he will take his time, Wondering how to word himself, while I make a beeline.
Either way the race is on, for I will not be waiting long. Besides I’m wearing sneakers, I can’t lose to his thongs. For Nicole I begin to search around, I covered quite a lot of ground.
But what is this? I can not find, the thing that has plagued my mind. Where on earth could Nicole be? Surely she can’t be hiding from me.
The night dragged on and it became clear: Nicole was not going to be coming here. I was disappointed until I saw the truth More time to practice not sounding like a goof.
I withdrew from my thoughts and looked around There was Ba and at Shank he frowned. Shank had no idea that he was spoiling Ba’s chance For Ba to man up and ask Alanna to this dance.
I laughed and let the night take me away The stress was gone until another day. And so I had a lot of fun Before I knew it, the night was done.
I woke up and it was saturday I felt good but the sky was grey This was a bad omen that I ignored I had slept so well! I never even yawned
I turn on the computer, I let it load I waited and waited until the windows logo showed. I decided to check email but I had totally forgot, That email of doom that I should have let rot.
I had new messages but none from Nicole But I didn’t worry. Today won’t be droll. So I let the morning go flying away, Before I knew it, it was the end of the day.
Once again I returned to my email To find a reply from a certain female. And there it was waiting for me; The reply of success, surely.
My heart was beating, I didn’t dare To read that which was written there. My hand hesitated for I could not bare, A reply that causes me to tear out my hair.
But then I decide to take the plunge This sweat making me as wet as a sponge. I opened the email that decided fate No more delay. I could not wait.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t go” This can not be! No no NO! “I’m sorry, but I can’t go…with you” No…After what I’ve been through…
The world had ended, Shank had won I had failed, the game was done. Silent tears flowed as I retreated to bed Sadness was swept up into dreams instead
I woke up feeling depressed the next day I couldn’t believe that it had happened this way. But I would not go down like this, I must stop Shank, make him miss.
I come to school, Shank says “Wassup!” “What a bummer that she didn’t turn up!” At recess I find Ba talking to Shank The subject, “Revenge” and some stuff about tanks.
Ba says that the Bible condones vengence “How ironic, that means I won’t pay repentance” “Only if the punishment fits the crime” “Perfect. You know, that sounds just fine”
So I vowed to stay close to Shank, never give him a chance To ask Nicole to the formal, they would never dance. To me it seemed an eye for an eye I couldn’t forsee how this plan died
And so it was Friday night once more. We were in a church with leaky walls. This time Nicole did indeed show What Shank was thinking we could only know.
An awkward triangle we three made In a river of emotion I did wade While Shank stood silent trying to think And eventually, Nicole ran off to get a drink.
Shank stayed away from her for most of the night I relaxed and watched some bogans fight. The next thing I know Shank has disappeared But before I could swear I saw what I feared.
Shank had a look of confidence on his face As he turned round the corner I was frozen in place But what came next was not expected Shank looked strangely affected
He rounded the corner looking resolved but as he came back the look had dissolved From within came an exclamation of glee: “She didn’t pick him and she didn’t pick me!”
To me it came as a great victory Shank tried to take it happily His poker face hid what emotion he felt He eyed me off till my face almost melt.
He was thinking the same as me “My ranga was stolen by Herlihy” I laughed and told him of my fail He seemed to be turning pale.
My thoughts turned inward, as they do And I got thinking about things undue This was not a victory at all, Oh boy did I just drop the ball
Revenge is a dish best served cold. That’s what I have always been told. So of course it came as no suprise When all of a sudden, I realised:
Nicole would not be at our formal With me or Shank or someone normal. I couldn’t help feeling that it was all my fault I should have locked my hard feelings in a vault
I was blind. Look what I’ve done. Oh sad consequences of my fun. As I dealt with reality It finally sunk into me
This formal is more trouble then it’s worth Time to get more down to earth. And so I chose to forget these incidents I did not want to remember, the memory was rinsed
And so I forgot, I could not recall Until another email brought me back to it all. Ba gives the facts as blunt as a plank “Nicole wanted to say yes to Shank.”
Ba haven’t you heard that ignorance is bliss? Why oh why did you have to tell me this? I demand that you now let me know From where this information flows
But Ba is silent, he does not say Why these tidings came my way So I leave the mystery unsolved And once again the memories dissolved
The formal it did come and go And I did not toss to and fro I just came and had some fun Before I knew it, the night was done.
On the bus I sat with Shank We talked of all things rank Hot chicks, porno, renticle tape But I didn’t stop it, It was too late.
Shank was not an enemy then “I still wish you asked Nicole again, Even though we had such fun, I still wish that she had come”
I hear a sigh, he gathers breath I’m so tired I feel like death “We’re still learners” is the last thing he said But I still wish that I had my redhead.
I haven’t seen Shank since then, And I have taken to the pen “We’re still learners” lingers in sight With that in mind I kiss the Formal good night
I finally can let it go No more of this horrible show Months have passed since I last cried. To the formal, a big “Good bye!”
But no, I had a dream last night You see, it gave me quite a fright Not because it was a nightmare But for what was contained in there:
The formal again, I’m back on the boat With Ba, Alanna and a red goat. But there is one I was not expecting to see Nicole! And she is coming towards me.
But before I can say “This must be a dream” There appears Shank, his smile like a beam. Hands clasped firmly with Nicoles, I was enraged at the sight Such a fury that I woke myself up in the middle of the night.
I do not know what this dream meant But one thing I know as hard as cement: This formal will not close it’s door It will plague my mind forever more.
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
Johnny is a Bishop, Heretic, Prophet, Priest, Apostle and ASM (Ascended Spiritual Master). On his good days he is often also the one true almighty God incarnate. He enjoys writing theology and philosophy articles and spreading the Gospel promise of Universal Salvation
![2016-01-04-1451947020-1057181-Betrayal4edde75f206fe-thumb[1].jpg](https://antipodeanosmosis.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/2016-01-04-1451947020-1057181-betrayal4edde75f206fe-thumb1.jpg?resize=320%2C398)
I will fight for you
![6f78e67723857a7a3446ac9d99a3414c[1].jpg](https://antipodeanosmosis.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/6f78e67723857a7a3446ac9d99a3414c1.jpg?resize=676%2C381)
I step out the door into the frost![seven-last-words-church-of-god-in-christ-jesus-vNBnzj-clipart[1]](https://antipodeanosmosis.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/seven-last-words-church-of-god-in-christ-jesus-vnbnzj-clipart1.jpg?w=1024&resize=676%2C449)
I opened up my heart to you![wintermemorie-6592[1].jpg](https://antipodeanosmosis.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/wintermemorie-65921.jpg?resize=294%2C294)
We were standing there one winters day
“You must specialise in broken hearts”![Normanhurst-Boys-High-School[1].jpg](https://antipodeanosmosis.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/normanhurst-boys-high-school1.jpg?resize=676%2C450)
We were Sitting down at lunch one day,